Wednesday 23 July 2008

The work-life balance...

An article appearing in the Style, a supplement to The Sunday Times (July 20, 2008) provides an interesting perspective about a topic of interest to many, the work-life balance. Aptly titled "The Work-Wife Balance", the article provides a good flavour about some of the current thinking in the West about the subject.

Relating to Madonna's alleged marital problems, the article went on to state that she was a role model to modern Western women on work-life balance. Pointing to the emergence of feminism decades ago and its fight for women's power, it is not hard to see how the Western society has evolved, particularly in relations to women's role and what constitute women's success.

Back home (Malaysia), working women, mostly in the capital are finding it increasingly difficult to manage career and family lives. While Madonna is not the role model, and cultural and religious values are vastly different, there are signs to show that there are similar trends. Modern Malaysia is quick to embrace materialism in the name of development. Life style of Malaysians have changed tremendously over the past decades. As the standard of living improves, so does the cost of living. While direct comparison between the West and Malaysia is obviously inappropriate, possibly unnecessary, it is important to gauge the progress in the country with respect to those of developed ones, as Malaysia aims to be a fully developed nation by 2020. After all, the world is dominated by liberal capitalism, and Malaysia is no stranger to it.

Malaysian women benefit from an education system originating from the colonial days. Contrary to some conservative nations, there is nothing to limit any woman in Malaysia to pursue her education to the highest level. Malaysian society also encourages education irrespect of gender. Many Malaysian women attain tertiary qualification, and considerable numbers are educated overseas - many in the West. In recent years, it has been reported that the number of women in Malaysia's public universities has considerably outnumbered those of men. In short, the opportunities are vast for women in the country.

Having gotten a university degree, it is a natural progression to enter the employment market. At this stage, women also contibutes income to their families: single women send money to their ageing parents on regular basis - this is part of the values which is quite different from the West - while married women serve the parents as well as their new family. Many will also have to serve the loan that was used to support their education while studying at the university or college.

The work-life conflict likely develops when a woman starts a family; and this happen when she is in her 20s or 30s. They will also start to have children at this stage. For professionals, this is a stage of primary importance as this is the time to develop their career if they aspire to be somebody. Regardless whether a woman decides to be a career woman or not, an 8-to-5 working hours is still the norm and this in all likelihood will be at the expense of the family*. The hectic environment in the city does not help, and so is the high cost of living.

While many in the country continue to believe that families are the fundamental building blocks of the society, and women continue to play a pivotal role in developing a successful family, there are signs to suggest that these "blocks" are falling apart. Crime rate is on the rise, social ills are getting worse and values that were once the strenghts of the society are fast depleting.

People are working harder each day, many women included, and that is the way it goes. It is interesting to note what was said by journalist and author Rosie Boycott, mentioned in the same article "What is wrong with the society we live in is that success is all about money....." and this statement unfortunately is becoming more and more relevant to the Malaysian society today.

There are reasons to believe that this predicament is not unintentional; it is very much a result of a system based on underlying ideologies - name it whatever you like: globalisation, free market, equality, rights - they are all the same, and that is materialism based on liberal capitalism.

* Childcare is a major concern in Malaysia. As many women opt to work to support the family, many have to hire maids to take care of the small children. There have been many cases to suggest that maids are generally unreliable. Many children spend most of the time with the maid with little background known about her, albeit the fact that she was provided with some mandatory training before being hired. Nursery is an alternative for parents unfortunately the service provided by most is a far-cry from the basic standards required for a childcare provider.

23 comments:

Yasmin's Mummy said...

Just heard on the radio yesterday: ratio of women to men entering Msian public unis is 67% : 33%. It's forecasted that women will dominate professional field. Men on the other hand are entering vocational colleges.

Working 8 to 5? I'd say even that is only a dream for many Msian women, especially once they reach managerial level. I might still be working if all that's required/expected is to serve the minimum required working hours. But when you're working with males, single women and older married women whose kids are already grown up, you become the minority who are always frowned upon for wanting to leave on time. Just ignore them? Not an easy thing to do. Perhaps I should have refused to climb the corporate ladder..

aida said...

huhuhu.. this issue is really close to my heart. of becoming a housewife or should i work?

now, about the issue of sending the kids to the nursery, of course i agree with ayah su. about the maid & the nursery thing. but in our circumstances, what to do except hope for the best? nursery is still the answer when we don't want to take a maid.

i was actually pressured by my SIL and MIL to take maid, but alhamdulillah.. ummi & ayah supported my decision of not taking one. maybe because i always think about the privacy of being husband & wife, if there is a 3rd person in the house, i feel 'kekok' some more.

but, that's just my personal opinion. maybe my SIL will beg to differ. she really need one since she is situated in cheras (when nursery is quiet far from her house)

Ummu Auni said...

i wish that i can become a SAHM. bukan goyang kaki, but more likely to nurture my kids, sekarang ni rasa macam tak cukup masa valuable je untuk dia orang. the way my hubby is working, Alhamdulillah, I still can go back on time and pick up the kids. low pay? a concern, but i won't forgo it for time spent with my kids

nida said...

Ida kerja dulu, belum dpt anak lagi.. tapi masa buat KPLI, pi tinggal anak kat MIL, bila tgk anak2 dok nangis goyang2 MIL grill tiap pagi bila tinggal, nak menitis air mata.

Ida ni masa anak dua, garang dgn anak2, so bila dpt KPLI tu, ida fikir mesti anak seronok sbb, x payah deal dgn mama yg garang nih. ida selalu ingat, mesti anak2 dok ingat pasal kita dok garang2 kat dia.

Bila habis KPLI, sementara tunggu posting, ida jaga balik Abang n Jat Ida ingat sapa loni, masa tu Abang umur 3 thn lebih, dalam dia dok syok main lompat2 tuh, tiba2 dia dtg kat ida dan cium pipi. Pastu dia renung ida, Abang lambat skit boleh ckp tapi cara dia tgk tu mcm kata, "Tq, mama..sbb jaga Abang balik..".

Bila anak 4 nih, lagila x sampai hati nak bekerja, I don't think I can balance between working and motherhood. Loni, mmg kecut perut plak takut kena panggil posting...

p/s: hopefully, IWA had a longer comment, x nakla jadi the winner..hee..hee..

Ibu WA Alim said...

Rama dah dok ppakat komen ni..pjg2 jugak tu..
IWA tak payah ckp byk lg la..sbb dah byk komen IWA berkenaan isu ini..merata..all over the world..of family member's blog..
Kasi can org lain lah dpt the longest comment award tu..
Tp, ada satu yg IWA tertinggal..drp post2 sblm ni..d blog2 ahli keluarga tu..
Sanggup ke korbankan nearly 4K tu Aida..and Aini? Bkn kecik pengorbanan tu..utk jd mcm Kak Da..or CMT..mujo tak baka segala kertas keras tu je..
Kali ni IWA nak tabik spring kat CMT pulak la..jgn marah Da..Da dah dpt 2x tabik spring drp IWA..tp tabik spring utk CMT ni lg lama la..
IWA dulu hy memforget 1K je..itulah pengorbanan IWA..dah nak kawin sgt..tp dulu tak rasa gapa2 pong..
La ni..ada juga jarum2 halus yg menusuk..apb tgk org lain byk duit..blh berbelanja sesuka hati..bawak kereta sediri..pahtu nampak mcm succesful career woman lak..
Kita ni ggapa pong takdak..
Itulah pulak cabaranya..asyik berperang di dlm jiwa..bila tgk org lain lbh..lbh berjaya..lbh segala..
Pjg jugak nampaknya..mmg tak reti pendek2..
Dah taip dah komen ni td..lbh krg ni jugak..tp ada masalah bila nak publish..pah tu..taip semula la..

nida said...

MLA - ishhh..x marahla cy, cy nak tabik spring kat CMT ke, sape2 ke..
x suka pun kena tabik spring, takut spring terpelanting.. hee..hee.. ida tulis sekadar sharing shj..

Ida berenti dulu 3K, ramai gak dok kata rugi2, bila org ckp gitu, adala gak melekat kat hati nih, tapi cpt tepis, itulah godaannya dan godaan yg cy cerita tulah...

Ida tabik spring kat MYA, mmg wowlah! tinggi sungguh pengorbanannya..

Akhir sekali nok tanyolah MLA, CMT tu apo yo?

aida said...

aduh, pening la pakai short form. tak faham langsung

CY ni kenapa dok cerita pasal gaji? bukan apa, sokmo org dok kata kesian kalau berenti, gaji dah besar. tu tabik spring kat YM, gaji dasat pun berenti :)

Ibu WA Alim said...

IWA tgh dok taip td.. tiba2 loop.. gelap..masuk2 Aida sapa pulak..
IWA off topic pulak ko ni?
CMDa bakpo nak tanyo2 lg..? Dah jelas lg bersuluh..
Kita dok cito2 ni bkn apa..bkn tak nak bg budak2 ni ikut jejak langkah kita..tp kita nak suruh pk masak2 dulu..akan cabarenya..dan pengorbanenya..
Lg pun kalu mcm CMTi tu pon molek gak..!
A..h, Lu pk sendiri lah Nabil!

Ummu Auni said...

IWA, gaji tak sampai 4K pun. sanggup? kalau hari ni suami kata boleh berhenti kerja, dah melompat dah...ramai kawan yang dah kawin & ada anak macam tu. contoh terdekat kawan kerja kat shell, gaji dah ribu2, lepas tu dulu SPM jadi best student lagi, pun seghupo...ada kawan cerita, masa kat US dulu, ada kawan dia, mak dah ada PhD, berhenti kerja, lepas tu, besarkan anak2 dia..lepas anak dah besar, baru kerja balik...janglah cynical sangat....percayalah rezeki tu kat tangan Tuhan.

Ibu WA Alim said...

Cynical pulak..tak pehe mana tuh..tp ada jjupa baru2 ni..oo..dlm blog Prof. Kamil..adik dia tersenyum sinikal mendgr alase abe dia..
IWA tak berani jugak nak ckp lbh2..takut kena sound ko KPSYD dan KISYDT

Yasmin's Mummy said...

tersedak2 sekejap.. banyaknya my pseudo name. best nya you all berborak, tuan rumah nya mana?

i wonder, aida and ummu auni, what your parents think about your intention? if they're supportive, then 1 less hurdle to cross.

pengorbanan? actually it doesn't feel like it at all. I just do not think about the money. truthfully i was more concerned abt whether i could continue to contribute to my mother, instead of abt my own spending. Alhamdulillah, Allah makes it possible.

i can totally relate to ummu auni's comment "kalau hari ni hubby kata boleh berhenti, dah melompat dah". in fact, I think many women are dreaming for that opportunity. But they continue working out of the necessity to supplement the family income. Soal nak melaram is not even a part of the equation.

What am I getting at? Entah lah.. dah melalut lak.

Ibu WA Alim said...

Tersedak2 dan termelalut2 ni sbb rama dok tabik kot..kembang kempis dah kot idong tu..
Saya pong ada terfikir pasa your contibution to OBM tu..tp tak dptlah den nak menolongnyo..
Baik aku dok die..

Ummu Auni said...

haha, i don't think my parents would be as supportive as Mak. susah nak cakap, pemikiran zaman berbeza. tapi bestnya, kalau boleh besarkan anak sendiri. sedih sangat tengok anak nangis waktu kita nak gi kerja, dan bila balik, punyalah melompat suka, tengok kita ambil dia.

nida said...

ym dah tersedak, tuan rumah belum bawak keluaq air n cekodok lg..tuan punya rumah dok buat air n goreng cekodok tuh.. hee..hee.. jom sambung borak lagi..

If parents x supportive, rasanya baik rethinkla, bukan apa, bahtera kita bawak nih, tak nakla dilambung ombak yg tinggi, takut terbalik, tidak pun karam...


My parents x kata apa2 in front of mela, x taula kalu ada citer kat org lain. Tapi, one thing yg my parents tahu is I dah jadi milik org, so x leh nak kacaula.. so u all lagi tahu how yr parents are, so the choice is yours..

MLA - ni nak tanyo la, yg panjang singkatan tu apo yo?

aida said...

tuan rumah tak jadi masuk blog kot.. banyak betul komen surirumah dengan org bekerja.. hehehe

kak ida (or my lovely cousin- MLC, hehe), masalahnya.. mmg my own hubby sendiri yang NAK sangat aida jadi surirumah. of course la sebab MIL jadi surirumah kan, dan didikan dari surirumah atau working mom would be different.

tapi bak kata aini, our mom & dad's thinking is a generation apart from us. yang MIL pulak, dok support my SIL kalau dia nak berenti kerja, cuma SIL tak bersedia sebab gaji dah besar. MIL agak terkilan gak, sebab anak-anak SIL mmg dibesarkan oleh orang gaji dari anak pertama lagi.

cuma MIL dok puji la anak-anak aida (bukan nak kata anak aida bagus, anak SIL tak), sebab kat nurseri kan the kids bercampur ngan org, social skills develop jugak la

eh melalut habis keluar tajuk :P

Ibu WA Alim said...

Computer IWA dok hang sari dua ni..ni dok d blog ni jak td lg..berapa kali tubit masuk dah..on-off-restart computer..taip2 separuh jln..hang..sapa CMAid dah potong q..
Wahai ASYDri, bia la tue rumah tu..dia ke pengerusi..dgr je lah..sekali sekala je mencelah..bg can kat debater2 ni..berapa round dah ni.. tak gulung2 lg..
Muka MOS dan ASYDri ni mmg muka tak malu YM..bkn kira blog sapo..mcm hak sediri belako..
Tp, bia la kita org ni..sb lama dah tak attend management meeting..byk lava dok terpende ni..ke tak wat tubit ke de kecebum ke susah..
Parents expectation terhdp anak2 yg cemerlang dlm pelajaran ni mmg gu lain sikit..bbanding dgn parents lain..OBM pong..tp dia akan terima apa2 pong keputuse kita..bkn type/thp nngaju sapa tak kkecek la..lg pong sbb awak2 suma dah proved byk benda ko dia..dan disbbkan zmn beralih..dia pong mula memahami situasi/kehendak kini..yg byk jugak baik cuacanya..
Sbnrnya byk gak Islamic NGO yg bukak nursery ni..samada available kat kawasan kejiranan kita ko tidak jah la..CMAid..
Shortforms yg pjg2 ye..nanti tentu APBYJDP pun nak masuk/anjur ttanding ni..

nida said...

Ha..ha..ha..cy nih, kita dua mmg x malu sunggoh, gi rumoh org tu pot pet pot pet. Kat MSA n MYU x la malu sgt, tapi malu kat MEU, ni pun rasa nak masuk wish him well, tapi tgk MLA x pot pet lagi, tunggula dulu. Dah rasa malula plk, x pela nak jadi pemerhati bebasla plk lepas nih, tapi sblm tu nak pot pet dulu....

aida, k.ida bkn ckp psl MIL, tapi our own parents, sbb mrk yg besarkan dan menghabiskan duit utk kita, bela kita dari kecik sampailah akad nikah, mcm2lah..

K.ida rasa if u want to be h/w, why not Da kerja dari rumah mcm Da dok buat loni, Corelle tu n Tini psl Herbalife, x yahla 100% gantung kat hubby...siti Khadijah pun berniaga tau...

MIL plk ada dok suruh2 kerja secara kecil2an, dia ada kata masa ada sorang pompuan nih, dtg beraya kat umah. Pastu MIL tunjuk, "dia nih master tapi x kerja, dia dok buat kuih hantar kat restoran2." Kita ni bkn apa, loni x minat sgt bab2 buat kuih tu, dok terfikir kalau pi tinggal kat kedai pun, nanti periuk belanga yg buat kuih tu, kita gak kena basuh. Yg bertimbun pinggan mangkuk kat rumah ni pun x larat nak basuh...

Oklah, Sodokollahulazim...

p/s: Nak jadi pemerhati bebasla plk

Mohammad said...

Teruskan...teruskan adik kakok semua. Jangan malu2. Perbincanan yang bagus & hangat ni jangan disejukkan pulok. insyaAllah, banyak manfaat dr perkongsian camni. Ambo sibok sket dengan urusang di parlimen.

Baru abih gonyoh lantai makmal..ari ni ado gotong-royong besar-besaran.

Sebenarnya, artikel ambo tulih tu masih lagi half-ppast six, bak kata Tun. insyaAllah, ado kesempatan, ambo akan kembangkan lagi poin-poin ambo, terutama yang kat hujung-hujung tuh.

Kalo demo perhati betul2 penulise ambo tuh, bila dekat2 hujung tu macam gedegung sikit...terus masuk gaung.

Nida - MEU tu saper? MLA tu My Ligat Auntie ker? He he...

IWA - pening. Banyok sungguh shortform demo. Pasal apo tubik sapa Obama tuh? he he.. Acu coba tulis makna semua tuh. Ambo tok de nok mmiki...banyak sangat isu d parlimeng..

Ibu WA Alim said...

Mula2 td gi blog KPSYD..teriak2..pahtu singgah bblog APBYD..bertenang..pahtu mari bblog APBYJDP..suka kih kih kih..sambil tubit air mata..tak de nak kata ggapa..hang pulak..
Gi mmasak maggi dulu la..
Asik2 hang mouse..pahtu hang keyboard..pahtu hang masa tgh booting..
Comp ni exhausted mcm tue dia jugak kot..
Wahai MLN, Cy ni nak ngaju sikit dgn YEU..tp Cy masih terngiang2 lg omelannya terhdp OOMA berbelas thn dulu..yg dibandingnya dgn YES..pasa keh2 nngaju ni la..
Tp tak baik ke nngaju dgn MEB..spttnya MOS bersikap matang and profesional..de tak ambik ati..mcm yg Cy hrpkan dr org2 lain jugak..terhdp Cy..
MLN tau dak..masa Cy naik teksi dr HUKM nak balik rumah slps menjalani pemeriksaan kesihatan lk sebln lalu..dreba tu kebetulan my berapa x senior kat SML dulu..mcm Cy dgn MLN la..bila dia confirm yg MOS ni Kelatenis..dia tanya bakpo tak jjual nasi belauknye..amboi tersgtlah MOS ini tak melaram mcm mak datin..
M or MIL yg HW ni..dia ssie tgk cucu2 dia..sbb dia tau la lagu mana dia jaga anak dia..lagu mana anak dia membesar dpn mata dia..pahtu dia comparela dgn nasib cucu dia..
MYB, awak tu buka2 meja persidenge ni..pahtu tingga la..gi la gonyoh ggapa2 hak kena gonyoh..kita org blh handle nye..pahtu last2 marila tutup..
Puah ati dah ni dok suka ssore de suka dgn org2 yg cpt pick up tu..dgn ini dgn resminya saya mengumumkan :
Kalu bermula dgn M/Y tu rujuklah link blog Nida..
Kalu berakhir dgn YD (atau penengahnya) tu rujukla link blog ambo..
Kalu bermula dgn D tu idea asalnya from YM..
Kalu CM tu mula2 saya panggil ke Aida sbb dia tak tau bhn2 utk air tersat ari tu..
Hak lain2 tu spt d bwh ini :
OBM - our beloved mom
MOS - my own self
NGO - tu NGO la..
Siti Khadijah i - Ummul mukminin
Siti Khadijah ii - Ummi Ida
Tlg perbetulkan ejaan Sodaqollah anda..
Ligat..ligat..mmusing!
Mmusing i - berpusing
Mmusing ii - refer blog Aida
Demo bawak isu ggapa gi parlimeng..tu Parliament England ke? Tony Blair dok wat ggapa?

Ishani said...

Work life balance truly is becoming difficult to attain mostly for working women. Outsourcing personal chores does go a long way in maintaining a healthy work life balance. An interesting article on personalised outsourcing at http://outsorcerer.com/blog/?p=19

nida said...

sebentar ye, pemerhati bebas nak pot pet skit..cy, bakpo nak ngaju? Jgnle gitu... bukankah MEU tak sihat, kalu cy nok ngaju ko MEU, pasti sakitnya bertambah sakit. Tapi, kalau cy wish him well, hok sakit pun berasa sihat sikit...

Kalau psl x balas komen, rasanya org laki mmg gitu. Ida rasa MYU pun dulu jrg gak balas komen. Sejak cy masuk, ceria semua blog, tgk MYU yg pendiam dulu dlm blog, dahpun jadi MP hok kecek Ganung.

Kalu cy x masuk wi komen, ida yakin semua org akan merindui, x se ngaku belako nih...I bet MEU also miss your comments..

Nok bbetul semulalah, bkn kita dua muka x malu, ida sorang jer. cy x po nok potpet sbb cy kakak n mak sedara, logikla...ida ni ha pi rumah mak sedara pot pet, rumah pak sedara pot pet, mmg x malu sungguh.. oklah, bo la cy wi buah2 hok ida rasa nok pot pet, nok jd pemerhati bebas nih..

Salam Ishani..

Ibu WA Alim said...

GGini ASYDri, Cy gi2 bblog dia..buka komen..rasa nak tulis..pahtu tak tubit..pahtu marila rasa jauh ati tu..tp Cy wish him well dlm ati byk2..tiak2..
Td, Cy dah call dia..tp takleh kkecek dgn dia sb dia tgh driving..jd kkecek dgn KISYD je lah..
Pasa tak balas komen tu ke..kita mari mmike jugak dia kkene ko dak kita dok mengomel d blog dia..ko beto mcm Da kata..ORG LLAKI NI EGO SKIT..tulih huruf besar ni bkn sengaja ni..ttekan button caps lock..dah perase tu ingat nak repair..pahtu bia je la..
Tp teringat balik ko YES yg mmg +ve memanjang je tu..
Hm..bia la Cy dera dia org ni dgn sakit kerinduan yg amat terhdp komen & omel Cy ni..
Pasa muka tak malu tu..rasanya mmg muka Cy..tgkla kalu dah mengomen tak reti pendek..pahtu berapa round pong takse nngalah jugak..
rasa2nya kalu ada award utk komen pjg2 & kerap2..itu utk Cy tu..
Sedap mari dok tulih ssini..kalu dia mari baca..selak kera aku..
Sori brothers..
No hard feeling aa..I'm not!

Ibu WA Alim said...

IWA rasa awak ternanti2 berita Abg Har..
Dia selamat menjalani angiogram dan angioplasty smlm..ada satu salur tersumbat 100%..2 blockage..dah masuk 2 stent..