Of crossing a bridge and biting a bullet

Sometimes I would tell myself or a friend to only cross a bridge when you are at the bridge. This implies that at present we don’t have to worry too much about a particular problem (or rather “challenge”) we may face in the foreseeable future. It is not yet a problem, it may be a problem in the future that we don’t yet have a solution. Or we would rather not think about it now because the thought of the potential problem is just unbearable and leads to unnecessary worries. We may then comfort ourselves to “take a step at a time”.

The danger of this approach is that we may only go around the issue rather than confronting to resolve it. In the mean time, we merrily lead our day-to-day life and treat it as “business as usual”. In some circumstances this approach leads to pure procrastination. It is then convenient to say that we are “victim of circumstances”.

Probably a bigger danger is that we never really resolve the problem when it actually become a problem. We thought or rather we lead our own mind in believing that it has been resolved. May be the sayings “it is all in the mind” and “you are what you believe” can be applied and play a big role here.

But again we thought “time heals” in that as time passes by “things” get better and we will eventually overcome the challenge. This can be true or false. True if we take proactive steps and “do something about it”. In Covey’s words we should work on our “circle of influence” – do what is within our control. In short, take charge of our own life! (I run the risk of being labeled by some as “ancient” here for quoting Covey!).

A few years ago after a long discussion on what seems to be a never-ending problem, a manager recommended that we should just “bite the bullet” and move forward. In other words he was suggesting we should just make a firm decision and live with the consequences whatever that may be. In a way it is an act of bravado, to some an act of desperation. It sounds like not a bad idea and I think his army of subordinates would be more than happy to support especially if he is the one “biting the bullet” (which in all likelihood he will not!).

Having said all that I do appreciate the fact that he has taught me a new lesson in problem-solving. I must agree at times we have to bite the bullet – make a firm decision and live with the consequences especially in cases where we have very limited options or room to maneuver. And may be when time is not on our side. After all, a bad decision is better than making no decision at all. Now that is something I really have to learn!

Sunday Reflection

November 4, 2007 - It is not very cold this afternoon. May be because I am sitting comfortably in my room which is warm - thanks to the college for not charging extra cost for heating. From my window, I can see the clear blue sky so there's enough reason to be cheerful. It was very cold early in the morning when I was cycling to a car-boot sale at a business park not far from here. I have all my gears on. I was wearing my hand gloves and my head is fully covered – including the most vulnerable parts of my body: my ears. It reminds me of the day in January 1993 when I was cycling to college without any gears on. I was freezing.

Today is Sunday and as in any typical Sunday in England there's really nothing much to do..... except for a student like me, to study! Well that may not be necessarily true as there are a lot of things a student can do here. There's a day-trip to our sister college but I have decided not to go. But studying is not really what I want to do now and I am in no mood to do that. A paper from a journal published in 1989 is sitting on my desk. I have read the paper twice at least.

I was first discouraged by the amount of vector calculus spread throughout the paper. With no background on the subject, I am left me to comprehend the text which is only fifty percent of the paper. And the text make continuous reference to the various equations leaving me to understand only half of the text!

A few days later on my second attempt I discovered I can learn more from the paper. In between I went to the library to find a book for self-study. I was very fortunate as there is a book for dummy. I can’t believe there is such a book at this very institution! Someone before me must have gone through similar predicament.

I have taken the extra efforts to highlight certain points in the journal I believe to be of importance, and underline the parts I need further reading. That is an achievement in itself. Little achievement but hopefully enough to keep me going. A few nights before a friend told me you will not understand everything in a single reading. What a relief! On Friday a colleague from the same course told me she is also having problems to grasp the heavy maths in the subject we are taking. Another comfort factor! Well at least I know there's more than one person in the boat!

I must have been very ambitious when I applied for the course early in 2007. Or I must be thinking I will not get a place as the odds are against me but as always, no harm in trying! It must be a case of "be careful of what you wish". Nevertheless, I would love to say "I'm living my dreams". And I would be happy to claim "I'm doing what I want to do..". Except that what I want to do might not be the right and best thing for me. Or a case of bad timing.

"Opportunity never comes twice" and "the best things in life are free". I love those words. It is probably a very good reason to justify why I am here. Or rather why I chose to be here.

I have so many reasons to be very grateful. I know I have been telling myself about this many times before. It is not about career, material possession, family or whatever possessions I have.