Tuesday, 20 May 2008
This is where I belong...
This is the place where I spent most of my time from end January till mid-May 2008. I would normally spend 8 hours here almost non-stop with intermittent breaks to sneak out for a quick breakfast, lunch or tea in a pantry next door. When I entered the place end of January, the view through the window was not as cheerful, the sky was mostly grey. The photo was taken on a Friday afternoon on 16th May when I was testing a lab camera before taking photos of my experimental set-up. The three red objects on the table are lids for kegs which I used to store fresh water and saline solutions for my experiments.
Friday, 2 May 2008
Back to school...
I have always wanted to write about this but I have never really set a time to work on it. Writing is my passion and I wish I could spend more time on it. Looking back, I could have written more especially in the last few months.
It is now way past midnight and as I was having a conversation through YM, I started to think now I have to work on this long delayed task. It was a conversation with a fellow compatriot and colleague and we were discussing about current workload as a student and future career plans. It was a trigger point of sort. As I was asking about his plans after graduation later this year, I made a suggestion for him to read my article...or rather ramblings (see "Of Crossing A Bridge and Biting a Bullet). I can only humbly tell him there is only two postings in the blog. When I first started it was supposed to be my ideas and thoughts over a period of one year while taking a break off work. It never really took off the way I wanted it to be. It is supposed to be less amateurish and reflects maturity. Where possible, I hope some of the materials would be worth for an editor to consider publishing it. Well, it was partially achieved. My ramblings end up on a glossy page on the inside back cover of a magazine published by society at one of the world's most renowned university! A 50 percent success rate is not too bad, aiye?
Yes, I am a student again since September 2007. I can't believe returning to school after such a long time. It has been more than 10 years since I left my last "school" and enjoyed the life of a grown up comfortably gaining the independence of earning my own money. Almost ten years and three jobs later, here I am again attending lectures and trying to comprehend the equations written on the board except that this experience is not quite the same with those undergraduate days when I was younger. The weather is very familiar and the culture is pretty much the same however this now appears very much a foreign land. I would have considered working here 10 years ago but the opposite is true now.
Coming back to school is a refreshing change however adapting to student life is not without any hurdles. As much as I am learning to unlearn, I also found myself learning to learn. The mindset has to change and I am still learning to do that. Gone temporarily were the days to work from eight to five. I am pretty much myself, I can decide when to work or not to work only to find out that working at night is more of a norm rather than an exception here. Trying to understand takes longer. I am not sure whether that has got to do with reduced processing power of my brain or the habits it has accustomed itself after years in the working world.
Coming back to school is beyond my wildest dreams. Winning a scholarship and securing a place was a challenging task in itself however going through the mental and emotional roller coaster rides through the degree course is a different thing altogether. As I navigate through my research work spending endless time in the laboratory and trying to make sense of the data, I found myself in an ocean of knowledge trying to stay afloat and find my direction. I have yet to see the shore. Wish me all the best!
It is now way past midnight and as I was having a conversation through YM, I started to think now I have to work on this long delayed task. It was a conversation with a fellow compatriot and colleague and we were discussing about current workload as a student and future career plans. It was a trigger point of sort. As I was asking about his plans after graduation later this year, I made a suggestion for him to read my article...or rather ramblings (see "Of Crossing A Bridge and Biting a Bullet). I can only humbly tell him there is only two postings in the blog. When I first started it was supposed to be my ideas and thoughts over a period of one year while taking a break off work. It never really took off the way I wanted it to be. It is supposed to be less amateurish and reflects maturity. Where possible, I hope some of the materials would be worth for an editor to consider publishing it. Well, it was partially achieved. My ramblings end up on a glossy page on the inside back cover of a magazine published by society at one of the world's most renowned university! A 50 percent success rate is not too bad, aiye?
Yes, I am a student again since September 2007. I can't believe returning to school after such a long time. It has been more than 10 years since I left my last "school" and enjoyed the life of a grown up comfortably gaining the independence of earning my own money. Almost ten years and three jobs later, here I am again attending lectures and trying to comprehend the equations written on the board except that this experience is not quite the same with those undergraduate days when I was younger. The weather is very familiar and the culture is pretty much the same however this now appears very much a foreign land. I would have considered working here 10 years ago but the opposite is true now.
Coming back to school is a refreshing change however adapting to student life is not without any hurdles. As much as I am learning to unlearn, I also found myself learning to learn. The mindset has to change and I am still learning to do that. Gone temporarily were the days to work from eight to five. I am pretty much myself, I can decide when to work or not to work only to find out that working at night is more of a norm rather than an exception here. Trying to understand takes longer. I am not sure whether that has got to do with reduced processing power of my brain or the habits it has accustomed itself after years in the working world.
Coming back to school is beyond my wildest dreams. Winning a scholarship and securing a place was a challenging task in itself however going through the mental and emotional roller coaster rides through the degree course is a different thing altogether. As I navigate through my research work spending endless time in the laboratory and trying to make sense of the data, I found myself in an ocean of knowledge trying to stay afloat and find my direction. I have yet to see the shore. Wish me all the best!
Saturday, 10 November 2007
Of crossing a bridge and biting a bullet
Sometimes I would tell myself or a friend to only cross a bridge when you are at the bridge. This implies that at present we don’t have to worry too much about a particular problem (or rather “challenge”) we may face in the foreseeable future. It is not yet a problem, it may be a problem in the future that we don’t yet have a solution. Or we would rather not think about it now because the thought of the potential problem is just unbearable and leads to unnecessary worries. We may then comfort ourselves to “take a step at a time”.
The danger of this approach is that we may only go around the issue rather than confronting to resolve it. In the mean time, we merrily lead our day-to-day life and treat it as “business as usual”. In some circumstances this approach leads to pure procrastination. It is then convenient to say that we are “victim of circumstances”.
Probably a bigger danger is that we never really resolve the problem when it actually become a problem. We thought or rather we lead our own mind in believing that it has been resolved. May be the sayings “it is all in the mind” and “you are what you believe” can be applied and play a big role here.
But again we thought “time heals” in that as time passes by “things” get better and we will eventually overcome the challenge. This can be true or false. True if we take proactive steps and “do something about it”. In Covey’s words we should work on our “circle of influence” – do what is within our control. In short, take charge of our own life! (I run the risk of being labeled by some as “ancient” here for quoting Covey!).
A few years ago after a long discussion on what seems to be a never-ending problem, a manager recommended that we should just “bite the bullet” and move forward. In other words he was suggesting we should just make a firm decision and live with the consequences whatever that may be. In a way it is an act of bravado, to some an act of desperation. It sounds like not a bad idea and I think his army of subordinates would be more than happy to support especially if he is the one “biting the bullet” (which in all likelihood he will not!).
Having said all that I do appreciate the fact that he has taught me a new lesson in problem-solving. I must agree at times we have to bite the bullet – make a firm decision and live with the consequences especially in cases where we have very limited options or room to maneuver. And may be when time is not on our side. After all, a bad decision is better than making no decision at all. Now that is something I really have to learn!
The danger of this approach is that we may only go around the issue rather than confronting to resolve it. In the mean time, we merrily lead our day-to-day life and treat it as “business as usual”. In some circumstances this approach leads to pure procrastination. It is then convenient to say that we are “victim of circumstances”.
Probably a bigger danger is that we never really resolve the problem when it actually become a problem. We thought or rather we lead our own mind in believing that it has been resolved. May be the sayings “it is all in the mind” and “you are what you believe” can be applied and play a big role here.
But again we thought “time heals” in that as time passes by “things” get better and we will eventually overcome the challenge. This can be true or false. True if we take proactive steps and “do something about it”. In Covey’s words we should work on our “circle of influence” – do what is within our control. In short, take charge of our own life! (I run the risk of being labeled by some as “ancient” here for quoting Covey!).
A few years ago after a long discussion on what seems to be a never-ending problem, a manager recommended that we should just “bite the bullet” and move forward. In other words he was suggesting we should just make a firm decision and live with the consequences whatever that may be. In a way it is an act of bravado, to some an act of desperation. It sounds like not a bad idea and I think his army of subordinates would be more than happy to support especially if he is the one “biting the bullet” (which in all likelihood he will not!).
Having said all that I do appreciate the fact that he has taught me a new lesson in problem-solving. I must agree at times we have to bite the bullet – make a firm decision and live with the consequences especially in cases where we have very limited options or room to maneuver. And may be when time is not on our side. After all, a bad decision is better than making no decision at all. Now that is something I really have to learn!
Sunday, 4 November 2007
Sunday Reflection
November 4, 2007 - It is not very cold this afternoon. May be because I am sitting comfortably in my room which is warm - thanks to the college for not charging extra cost for heating. From my window, I can see the clear blue sky so there's enough reason to be cheerful. It was very cold early in the morning when I was cycling to a car-boot sale at a business park not far from here. I have all my gears on. I was wearing my hand gloves and my head is fully covered – including the most vulnerable parts of my body: my ears. It reminds me of the day in January 1993 when I was cycling to college without any gears on. I was freezing.
Today is Sunday and as in any typical Sunday in England there's really nothing much to do..... except for a student like me, to study! Well that may not be necessarily true as there are a lot of things a student can do here. There's a day-trip to our sister college but I have decided not to go. But studying is not really what I want to do now and I am in no mood to do that. A paper from a journal published in 1989 is sitting on my desk. I have read the paper twice at least.
I was first discouraged by the amount of vector calculus spread throughout the paper. With no background on the subject, I am left me to comprehend the text which is only fifty percent of the paper. And the text make continuous reference to the various equations leaving me to understand only half of the text!
A few days later on my second attempt I discovered I can learn more from the paper. In between I went to the library to find a book for self-study. I was very fortunate as there is a book for dummy. I can’t believe there is such a book at this very institution! Someone before me must have gone through similar predicament.
I have taken the extra efforts to highlight certain points in the journal I believe to be of importance, and underline the parts I need further reading. That is an achievement in itself. Little achievement but hopefully enough to keep me going. A few nights before a friend told me you will not understand everything in a single reading. What a relief! On Friday a colleague from the same course told me she is also having problems to grasp the heavy maths in the subject we are taking. Another comfort factor! Well at least I know there's more than one person in the boat!
I must have been very ambitious when I applied for the course early in 2007. Or I must be thinking I will not get a place as the odds are against me but as always, no harm in trying! It must be a case of "be careful of what you wish". Nevertheless, I would love to say "I'm living my dreams". And I would be happy to claim "I'm doing what I want to do..". Except that what I want to do might not be the right and best thing for me. Or a case of bad timing.
"Opportunity never comes twice" and "the best things in life are free". I love those words. It is probably a very good reason to justify why I am here. Or rather why I chose to be here.
I have so many reasons to be very grateful. I know I have been telling myself about this many times before. It is not about career, material possession, family or whatever possessions I have.
Today is Sunday and as in any typical Sunday in England there's really nothing much to do..... except for a student like me, to study! Well that may not be necessarily true as there are a lot of things a student can do here. There's a day-trip to our sister college but I have decided not to go. But studying is not really what I want to do now and I am in no mood to do that. A paper from a journal published in 1989 is sitting on my desk. I have read the paper twice at least.
I was first discouraged by the amount of vector calculus spread throughout the paper. With no background on the subject, I am left me to comprehend the text which is only fifty percent of the paper. And the text make continuous reference to the various equations leaving me to understand only half of the text!
A few days later on my second attempt I discovered I can learn more from the paper. In between I went to the library to find a book for self-study. I was very fortunate as there is a book for dummy. I can’t believe there is such a book at this very institution! Someone before me must have gone through similar predicament.
I have taken the extra efforts to highlight certain points in the journal I believe to be of importance, and underline the parts I need further reading. That is an achievement in itself. Little achievement but hopefully enough to keep me going. A few nights before a friend told me you will not understand everything in a single reading. What a relief! On Friday a colleague from the same course told me she is also having problems to grasp the heavy maths in the subject we are taking. Another comfort factor! Well at least I know there's more than one person in the boat!
I must have been very ambitious when I applied for the course early in 2007. Or I must be thinking I will not get a place as the odds are against me but as always, no harm in trying! It must be a case of "be careful of what you wish". Nevertheless, I would love to say "I'm living my dreams". And I would be happy to claim "I'm doing what I want to do..". Except that what I want to do might not be the right and best thing for me. Or a case of bad timing.
"Opportunity never comes twice" and "the best things in life are free". I love those words. It is probably a very good reason to justify why I am here. Or rather why I chose to be here.
I have so many reasons to be very grateful. I know I have been telling myself about this many times before. It is not about career, material possession, family or whatever possessions I have.
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